Let me begin by saying we all respond differently to different situations and approaches. There may be some in the class that really benefited from this particular exercise...the thinking loving and kind thoughts, breathing in suffering and having it dissolve in there hearts. I personally did not gain much from this exercise.
When I was told to picture someone I loved, I immediately thought of my wife. She was in the process of getting ready to go to church and I was in here working and doing school work. As the exercise continued, I realized that these last 10 minutes could have been spent holding her, touching her, looking at her, sharing with her and creating memories that once she is gone, I could not have. Instead, I sat and thought "loving and kind thoughts". Since she is not a mind reader, those thoughts really did not benefit her much this morning.
Over the past few years, those who know me have commented on how much kinder I have become. The conflict I feel in this aspect of my life stems from the difference between my actions and my attitudes. I am very quick to help those who need assistance. My wife comments on how I have a special radar that picks up on a specific need of an individual that is not really obvious to others, then I'll act on it immediately, forsaking all other plans at the time. Yet, I feel that I am impatient with the ignorant and those who chose not to better their current conditions through persistent work, higher education or any form of physical movement that would help them and their quality of life. So my actions say "kind", but my thoughts make me feel "less than kind". I am painfully aware of the importance of kindness and I am working on it daily. I am not sitting on a cushion "thinking" about it, but rather am seeking the guidance and intervention from my Lord and Savior....(and the advice of my wife) :)
My mental workout training came from my beloved Uncle Samuel (my 'kind' way of saying Uncle Sam, United State Marine Corps). During those memorable months over 20 years ago in San Diego, the Corps systematically redeveloped and conditioned our hearts, mind, body and souls. Point of Aim, Point of Impact... where you focus your attention is where your attention will be. If it is important, focus on it, if it isn't, redirect your focus. If pain is preventing you from accomplishing something, either eliminate the pain, or don't focus on it. I realize that makes us sound like robots, but it does show that the mind is stronger than the body and the body will listen to the mind.
So to respond to the questions, I did not agree with the exercises. I prefer to show my loving kindness through actions rather than thoughts. I prefer to develop my mental fortitude, stamina and strength through exercise and putting my body in situations where only my mind can help it push through.
Again, this is my personal opinion based on my knowledge of me, my faith, my strengths and weaknesses. The approach mentioned in this weeks reading would not work for me.
Thanks for reading this far:)
George
This makes more sense than any blog I have read yet. Also, from an Army vet to a Marine vet, thank you for your service. You are correct in that showing is different than thinking. Having the thought I love my wife is not the same as showing her that I love her. Even telling her is not the same as showing her even though she does need to hear it from time to time just for reassurance. I believe that the audio may be of help though when we cannot physically reach out and touch the person that we love. The hard part for me is trying to focus love and kindness onto someone that I don't particularly like. It's easy to love loveable people but not so much the unlovable (if that's a real word) ones. People who have wronged you are hard to forgive much less wish well thoughts. Trust me, I know.
ReplyDeleteIf you have read my blogs, I really don't care for visualizations either. This one did help me to relax a little though as I was driving to work. Seems like you and I are alot alike in our thought process on visualizations.
Thanks for the Blog.
Mack
George and Mack,
ReplyDeleteI think your thoughts toward preferring to show loving feelings for your wives through actions rather than through thoughts is wonderful! I'm guessing your wives genuinly feel loved!
Suppose the exercise is meant for bridging the gap when showing love through actions is too difficult for us, as you suggested. I would think we would find growth in ourselves to visualize those we don't particulaly like(the unlovable)and find compassion for them and a sicere hope for their spiritual success.
In the event that an "unlovable" was bothering my sense of being and I needed to get past the uncomfortable effect of their presence, whether physically or emotionally, I would try this exercise. For me to have to visualize loving thoughts for them means that I have to find something redeemable. If I find it, then I see where we have a connection and feeling loving may be easier to do. In that respect, it would benefit me to feel that way, even though I wouldn't want to show by actions.
Thanks for sharing so honestly :)
Hello George,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that sometimes our minds tell us something different than what our actions are showing. I try and have the good intention of helping others unconditionally but then the people that I want to help do things that make it hard for me to help them, instead I get mad (sometimes I say something but not always) and stay away from them. I think that seeing or thinking about the people who have been mean to us is hard and especially when this people have done things to us without us deserving it. This love-kindness is difficult to do especially when we are new to this movement.
Great Post!
Hi George
ReplyDeleteActions speak louder than words. Sometimes we can't express what we want to say but we can show it better through our actions.
I enjoy reading your post. I agree everyone reacts to these exercises differently. I enjoy reading about others experiences. I understand your frustration when it comes others who settle and not try to better themselves. Do you every try to assist those people who are like this? I say this because sometimes people need a sense of direction and are afraid to ask for help. Thanks Latrice
ReplyDelete